Do I have a secret? [Noun] No.
Did my parents keep secret the circumstances of my conception? Yes.
Were they aware that mom came to their relationship with a pregnancy? No.
Did my mother deceive my father about her pregnancy. No.
Did my parents create our family through deception? No.
Did my parents create a deceptive “origin of our family” narrative? Yes.
Have I been angry about the secret? No.
Have I ached knowing costs to them of hiding their truths? Yes.
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9 January 1957
SECRET – NOUN
Origin: Late Middle English: from Old French, from Latin secretus (adjective) ‘separate, set apart’, from the verb secernere, from se- ‘apart’ + cernere ‘sift’.
Denotative: a piece of information that is not generally known or is not known by someone else and should not be told to others:
- Something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others.
‘a state secret’
‘at first I tried to keep it a secret from my wife’
- Something that is not properly understood; a mystery.
I’m not trying to explain the secrets of the universe in this book’
mystery, enigma, problem, paradox, puzzle, conundrum, poser, riddle, question,
- A valid but not commonly known or recognized method of achieving or maintaining something.
‘the secret of a happy marriage is compromise’
recipe, formula, blueprint, magic formula, key, answer, solution
SECRET – ADJECTIVE
- not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others.
“how did you guess I had a secret plan?”
synonyms: confidential, restricted, unrevealed, undisclosed, unpublished, untold, unknown, uncommunicated, behind someone’s back, under wraps, unofficial, off the record, not for publication/circulation, not to be made public, not to be disclosed
antonyms: known, public, visible, overt, open, known about
- not meant to be known as such by others.
“a secret drinker”
synonyms: clandestine, covert, undercover, underground, hidden, shrouded, conspiratorial, surreptitious, stealthy, cloak-and-dagger, hole-and-corner, closet
- fond of or good at keeping things about oneself unknown.
“he can be the most secret man”
synonyms: uncommunicative, secretive, unforthcoming, reticent, private, media-shy, taciturn, silent, noncommunicative, quiet, tight-lipped, close-mouthed, close, playing one’s cards close to one’s chest, clamlike, reserved, introvert, introverted, self-contained, discreet
antonyms: open, communicative, chatty
DECEIVE – VERB
- Deliberately cause (someone) to believe something that is not true, especially for personal gain.
‘I didn’t intend to deceive people into thinking it was French champagne’
synonyms: swindle, defraud, cheat, trick, hoodwink, hoax, dupe, take in, mislead, delude, fool, outwit, misguide, lead on, inveigle, seduce, ensnare, entrap, beguile, double-cross, gull
- give (someone) a mistaken impression.
‘the area may seem to offer nothing of interest, but don’t be deceived’
- deceive oneself; fail to admit to oneself that something is true.
‘it was no use deceiving herself any longer—she loved him with all her heart’
- Be sexually unfaithful to (one’s regular partner)
‘he had deceived her with another woman’
synonyms: be unfaithful to, be disloyal to, be untrue to, be inconstant to, cheat on, cheat, betray, break one’s promise to, play someone false, fail, let down
DECEPTION – NOUN
- The action of deceiving someone.
DECEPTIVE – ADJECTIVE
- appearance or impression different from the true one; misleading.
The Truth of Things 
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